Things I’ve thought about while wondering if the legion of soft Indianapolis Colts fans will sign a petition keeping the retractable roof at Lucas Oil Stadium closed after Sept. 15 of each season.

IS TOM THE CREAN OF THE CROP?: New Indiana men’s basketball coach Tom Crean is wasting little time filling out the Hoosiers’ roster, which only weeks ago contained more holes than a bad stretch of country road.

Some might roll their eyes at Crean luring Vincennes University transfer Devan Dumes, a 6-foot-2 shooting guard, to Bloomington. Don’t. VU is one of the nation’s premier junior college programs and has been for decades. If Crean is sold on him, the kid can play.

And if memory serves, two recent Vincennes products, Purdue product Carl Landry (Houston Rockets) and UNLV’s Shawn Marion (Miami Heat) turned out a little more than all right.

BARRY STUCK ON 762: Mr. Asterisk himself, Barry Bonds, might have to be content finishing his Major League Baseball career with 762 home runs because it seems no other franchise wants to roll the dice with this guy.

What a stunner. Who doesn’t want a player who is a fielding liability, takes every third or fourth day off and treats teammates, fans and media like dirt?

Retire already. Organize a press conference, pay approximately 100 people off the streets of San Francisco to attend to make it look like the general public actually cares and get teary-eyed behind the microphone. Then go away and, please, for the love of the game, stay away.

DANICA FAILS GEOGRAPHY: Danica Patrick’s victory at the Japan 300, while groundbreaking on a variety of levels, would have been more impactful had she taken the checkered flag on American soil.

Throw something large like the Pacific Ocean in between history and the residents of the United States and the entire process becomes diluted. But if she’s good enough to win abroad, she’s good enough to win here.

THE FUTURE OF THE PACERS: There is none. Just kidding. Danny Granger and Mike Dunleavy are the undisputed cornerstones, Shawne Williams comes with a pretty high ceiling athletically and Jeff Foster and Troy Murphy, while unspectacular, handle the dirty work on the glass.

After that, things become hazy. I hope team co-owner Herb Simon likes a challenge, because these next few months serve as a doozy.

THE NBA PLAYOFFS: I’m guessing this is what inspired invention of the remote control. Unlike the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament and the NFL playoffs, these don’t interest me unless my favorite team is involved.

My favorite team is the Pacers. Enough said. Check back when there are four teams remaining. Preferably two.

THE FUTURE OF ISIAH THOMAS: Don’t feel bad for the former IU All-American just because Donnie Walsh fired him as coach of the New York Knicks.

Thomas is a walking rabbit’s foot, a guy who gets fired up to a better gig virtually every time his employment is terminated. My math tells me five more firings and Thomas will resurface as a viable contender for president of the United States.