June 13, 2009 08:00 pm
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There is an addiction that has taken over this country, an addiction far more serious than heroin or methamphetamine, an addiction holding this entire country in its obsidian, vise-like grasp, oil addiction!
Morning after morning, peering through bloodshot eyes and hiding behind the pretense of driving to work, these strung-out junkies fork over their hard-earned cash to satisfy this monstrous craving. Some, the truly hard-core addicts, must work two jobs to satisfy this insidious monkey on their back, for them, there is little hope. And why, why, why can’t we see that volunteering to drive an extra day in the car pool is really a cry for help?
And what of the children, how many children have been forced to endure trips to baseball, volley ball and soccer practice just to satisfy an adult’s ungodly craving? Why summer vacations to Disney World? Aren’t there miniature golf courses within walking distance? And are trips to Broadway really necessary when “American Idol” is easily accessible from home?
What must be done to eradicate this ebony fiend? The government has tried to wean addicts from petroleum to ethanol but it’s rumored that the fix may be only a placebo.
No, harsher measures must be taken, radical changes must be made. Our future depends on new modes of transportation like the rickshaw, the horse and buggy and the bicycle. If we have the courage, we can ride to our salvation on this new technology!
Andy Absher
Anderson
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