Dear Steve and Lynelle,

I have a really nice apartment, but ended up changing jobs — one with less salary - which left me more in rent than I could afford. To ensure I could keep my place, I asked an acquaintance to move in with me because she, too, needed a roommate. She has been there about six months. The arrangement has worked out well — until now. My boyfriend and I decided to move in together — to my apartment — and now my roommate is beyond upset. She said it’s not fair and that I should have never asked her to move in if it was only for six months. She can’t really afford to live on her own, doesn’t have moving expenses, so she is just refusing to leave. Her name is on the lease, but it’s second. I’m the primary resident. Legally, they said she has a right to stay, but this is just ridiculous. We don’t talk to one another and she never comes home because she’s angry with me. Why doesn’t she just move out? She finally told me that I should move out and give her the place, but I was there first. What do I do?

Steve: Some friend you are. You get into financial trouble and seek a roommate to help out. Then, when it’s convenient for you, she gets the boot. She’s got every right to be upset with someone as callous as you.

There are all kinds of contradictions here. She can’t afford to live on her own, but she wants your place. How does that work? She needs a place to stay, but she doesn’t come home. Where does she go?

Legally, they are right, whoever they are. She’s on the lease and you’ll probably have to take her to court to get her off. Hey, court costs and lawyer fees will help your finances, huh?

My advice is to move out with your boyfriend. Doesn’t he have a place to go, or was he living under a bridge? Short of that, you’re the one who initiated the change in the first place, so you need to be willing to live up to your part of the bargain. Wait until the lease is up and maybe you can renegotiate.

Whatever you do, have a little consideration for someone besides yourself.

Lynelle: I completely agree with Steve. Your actions are the most unfriendly I have ever heard of. In my mind, you have two options. Wait until the lease is up to move in with your man or move our right now with your man and continue to pay rent to your roomie until she finds another one. To me, that’s the only decent things to do. I don’t understand why people are so selfish these days?

You say you know your roomie doesn’t have a place to go or moving expenses and YOU are upset because you can’t play house right away? If you and your boyfriend are a good pair, then waiting to move in shouldn’t affect a thing. Why are you in such a rush that you want to throw others by the wayside? Before you think about moving and apartments and your boyfriend, I suggest you should think about what kind of person you really want to be. And if your boyfriend is reading, I suggest he think about your actions as well. Are you going to do this to him if things don’t work out?

Steve and Lynelle want to give you advice! They are always looking for good questions to answer, so pass on your drama, dating disasters, relationship woes and any problems that come your way. Write to them at steveandlynelle@heraldbulletin.com or send a letter to them at 1133 Jackson St., Anderson, IN 46016. Too frustrated to write? Call (765) 640-4863. Advice columnists Steve Dick and Lynelle Miller bring unique perspectives to your problems each Tuesday.